Cold hands, warm shart.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
