But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just made out with a guy for $7.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
two words: eviction party
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
