Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
