I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
