someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
