Well douche your snatch and let's go!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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