They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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