Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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