Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
