Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
