The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
