What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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