She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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