So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
