my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i drank out of a bidet.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
