I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
