if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
