You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
