I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
