You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
