my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
