she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
