just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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