I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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