He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
