I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize