I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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