So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
