No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just invented taco cereal.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
