I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
