therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dick very happy bro
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
