I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
