I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
