i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
