Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
