i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
