Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
