She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
