Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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