I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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