I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
