He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
