She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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