my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
