i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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