Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
