Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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