Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
