Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
