i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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