does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize