wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
