have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
