At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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