If that was your dad, he is hot
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
