I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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