I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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