Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
