Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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