Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
