I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
